Twinkle

Yesterday I got some sparkle back! The anxiety was still there but my personality and, dare I say, happiness is peeking through. Helped some friends move flats - I was anxious but I was also chatty and laughing! Lunchtime my energy dipped. I was hungry and needed to get home but we needed some bread. So hubby parks the car a good distance from the shop. I immediately said 'I'm on a low, the car is too far away, you do it'. So negative! Anyway he chivvies me along and off I go, trembling and feeling hard done by. Of course, nothing terrible happened and I even had a joke with the staff.

Felt much better after eating lunch but really, really tired. No, I didn't nap! I got on with some chores and then, still tired, went online to do some CBT. Refocussing definitely helped because the complete fatigue faded into just a slight tiredness.

Something is definitely changing. Maybe the Effexor is finally through with me; maybe the Prozac is kicking in more; maybe leaving the Diazepam alone is lifting my mood; maybe all the self-help books and websites are hitting home. I don't know but all I do know is it feels good. I know I'm not out of the woods yet, there are going to be dips, especially if I try to push myself too hard, so I'm just going to make the most of it and go gently.

This morning I woke up anxious but eager to start the day. No dread, just optimism. Let's see what the day brings!