Agitation

Second blog today as alot has happened. Still have my twinkle (yey!) but feeling quite keyed up. Dogs getting under my feet, which they always do when I'm agitated - they must know! Mother in law calls round. I love her dearly but she is absolutely scatty and drives me mad at the best of times. She just kept going on and on about absolutely nothing and I tried to keep calm but she was really winding me up. The dogs picked up on this as well and began really playing up, ripping up magazines! So I dealt with it by telling off the dogs and clearing up the mess and removing myself from the situation. Fine but Mother in law follows me! Arrgh! I just give in and try to let it wash over me which was beginning to work until my Mum phones. Mothers! She was worrying about her dog and wanted me to take it to the vet over nothing. So now they're in stereo! I calm her down and arrange to see her later. Finally rid of both mothers sat and had lunch and chilled a bit.

I was planning to drive today and so took hubby around town for some errands and then onto visit Mum. I was really tired by now but figured that as this happens every day I could work through it, which I did. Called into Tesco (oh how I love that shop - joke) and coped pretty well. Still agitated but it had remained at the same level most of the day so I felt I could cope with Tesco, which I did... until ...

Phone call from brother while in Tesco. He's been away walking with a friend in the Lakes and is coming home today. Phones to tell me they had to call Mountain Rescue and am I sitting down?! You know what's coming - I immediately panic, grab keys and leave hubby at the checkout to go to car. Once in the car I sat and breathed for a few moments to collect myself before ringing brother back. Of course he is fine, they just got lost and it got dark and they didn't have a torch. I just kept thinking "I can't take any more bad news". Anyway he was nearly home and we met up at Mum's.

As soon as I saw him I felt relief. Sorted out Mum with the dog (which has nothing wrong with him except a bad diet) and gradually relaxed. Phew! Drove home feeling fine.

On the up side - I coped with it all. I didn't explode with rage when I was being wound up by mothers, I didn't lose my temper with the dogs, I didn't fall asleep at the wheel, I didn't collapse in Tesco - I dealt with it all and I still have my twinkle! It feels like there is some force somewhere aiming obstacles at me to see how I will cope with them. Well, I am coping even though I am as anxious as hell I am beginning to realise it gets to a point and then doesn't get any worse. It's like the books says 'Feel the Fear and do it Anyway'!