A step back

Yesterday we headed off to the boat for the day. I wasn't bothered whether we went or not but to be honest I really couldn't be bothered. I felt very anxious on the journey there, while on the boat, couldn't wait to get off the boat, and was tearful on the boat and on the journey home. It seemed to be that I was mentally stuck in this bubble of anxiety and incapability. Once home I relaxed a little but my mood remained lower than it has been for about a week.

Had the realisation that hubby will be off skiing in January and 'will I be alright by then?' so another anxiety is added to the pot.

So this morning I am anxious and pretty close to taking some Diazepam to relieve the anxiety but I now that it makes me feel depressed so I am resisting for as long as possible. I plan to get stuck into some much-needed housework today while hubby is out and then we both go to the gym late afternoon.

I am beginning to consider undergoing some counselling or hypnotherapy (as I have done in the past). I think this would be a positive step forward.