Me

Anyone reading this blog is probably wondering what type of person I am so here is a brief outline of my life.

So, I am happily married to the man I met when I was 16. We are as close as you could imagine and he is my rock. We have no children (through choice and probably alot of psycological barriers) but take our enjoyment through our Godchildren. I was adopted as a baby and traced my birth mother in my late teens. My relationship with my birth mother is friendly although i feel no love for her.

I have a wonderful job in a local school which I absolutely love. I work there part-time and am also a beauty therapist which I do as a hobby. I am very creative and love to draw, write, read, sew and knit - all with varying degress of success! I am a great animal lover and have 2 dogs and 1 cat.

I am very selective over my friends and once someone lets me down I never trust them again and tend to push them away. I have a few close, wonderful friends who I trust deeply.

I have always suffered from bouts of anxiety and depression, which appears when major changes occur in my life (moving house, losing my Father, important people leaving my life). I guess you could say I am very insecure. So I have been on some form of medication for all my adult life. Whether I need it or not I don't really know but pschycologically I am dependent on a crutch.

Now, the reason I was put on Effexor was five years ago when I was enduring alot of stress. My boss, who is a dear friend, left his post and I was left in charge and basically unsupported. I was moving home which was very exciting but meant we had to live in a tiny flat for a month before actually moving into our new home. I found all this, especially the situation at work, stressful and turned to my doctor. As I see it, doctors can be influenced by drug companies pushing new drugs to be used and I was put on this relatively new wonder-drug that would help me. Of course, I took it and, once it took effect, felt alot better. I felt detached and a bit numb but so much better than I was so I continued. After about 6 months I decided to lower my dose which I did very gradually but ended up feeling so bad I had to increase again and since then I have been afraid to try again. It became apparent a few months ago that my blood pressure was high and after trying every other option (except drug treatment) with no effect it was decided that the Effexor was the cause and that I should come off it.

Effexor is almost impossible to withdraw from gradually. In Britain in comes in two strengths which cannot be halved. I lowered to the weaker dose with no ill effects over the summer holidays and assumed the final step would be similar. A bit dizzy, a bit sleepy and a bit ratty for a couple of weeks. Oh how wrong can you be!

So that's basically me!