Thank goodness

Ha! I don't remember much about yesterday evening. Felt okay. Very tired and eager to go to bed hoping for a better day to come.

This morning woke up at 5am. The first hmm, 15 seconds were lovely and relaxed and then in came the anxiety. I tried to lay there until the alarm went off but of course the anxiety got worse and the worry increased so I was in a right state by the time I got out of bed. Hubby made breakfast which I decided to throw up (lovely!). I am feeling worse and not better. Phoned the doctor as soon as surgery opened and hubby took me there. By this time I had taken 2mg Diazapam just to get there and was still trembling and terrified. Doctor was brilliant and totally understanding. He wants me to persevere with the Prozac rather than go back to Effexor (I half expected him to put me back on it) and has prescribed 5mg Diazapam for the next few weeks as required (up to 3 times a day). Apparently Diazapam is the easiest tranquilliser to come off because it stays in the body for a long time (he said 100 days!). I still feel grotty but the unbelieveable anxiety is now under control.

Phoned my boss who is being brilliant, thank goodness. Each day now I have been saying 'this is the worst day, tomorrow will be better' and it has been worse! Hopefully with this crutch things will pick up soon. This is without question the hardest medication I have had to withdraw from. Seroxat was bad but that was a walk in the park in comparison!