What was I saying?!

Last night was dreadful. Early evening the ball of anxiety in my chest opened up and I started shaking and feeling depressed then I just burst into tears and couldn't stop crying. Hubby wasn't so understanding. He told me to shut up! I think he's had enough of it all and I can't say I blame him. Eventually I stopped crying and had a good night's sleep. This morning I went to work with some reservations. I was worrying more and decided to really try and hopefully things would feel better. Work was actually okay, I felt a bit depressed but managed to cope and even cheered up a bit. That is until I left to go to Carol's for lunch. I walked in and just broke down. I couldn't stop crying. I was sick. It was horrible. It was however so beneficial to be able to talk to someone unreservedly without worrying about their feelings. I have been holding back with hubby because he has to live with me and it must be hard for him, day in and day out. So letting go was a relief.

I decided there and then to be sensible and give myself a chance to recover properly. I have phoned work and told them I will not be in for the rest of the week. I have cancelled my hair appointment and I have cancelled the gym. I really hate halting my life like this but I can see no other way of giving myself a chance to recover. I think I probably don't need the added stress of coping with other stuff at the moment. I hope hubby can understand this.

This has happened before, to a degree. A few good days and a few crap ones. And some very crap ones. I'm certain in a few days I'll start feeling better again. If it continues then it's off to the doc's again for some advice (and a sick note!).