Well, I did what I set out to do yesterday and felt odd all morning. The ball of anxiety in my chest was ever-present and I felt myself wilting at lunchtime. I pushed myself to carry on but could feel the anxiety and depressing starting to wash over me so I went for a lay down. Well that didn't work and I got up again. I didn't really know what to do with myself so I thought "I know I'll look at the Effexor forum for some advice". That was such a bad idea! I homed in straight away to a terrible posting which frightened me (in fact it terrified me) and I started to panic and lose control.
Thank goodness I found some Diazapam in my bedside cabinet (left over from a holiday flight). I took 5mg and then found hubby in the shed. I was terrified and just clung to him, sobbing. I have never felt so ill in all my life. I was convinced I was going to end up being locked away and with hubby leaving me, etc, etc. He calmed me down and got me on the cross-trainer (the theory being that exercise will use up the adreline I had pumping around me). It did help. I calmed down and the Diazapam kicked in and I felt calm for the rest of the day. Amazing!
So, today I am off to the boat with hubby. I don't want to be alone and he doesn't want to leave me alone so off I go. A bit apprehensive about the drive but I have the Diazapam safely in my bag in case of emergencies. I am kind of looking forward to getting away from home. A change of scenery and all that.
Stomach still upset so am feeling very thin. Definitely feel more optimistic today so here goes!
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