Entry One: October 1st 2007

First a brief history:

I have been taking Effexor XL for approx. 5 years in varying doses. I have previously tried to reduce the dose but have always reverted back to 150mg daily. At the end of July this year I needed to reduce the dose due to high blood pressure so cut back to 75mg daily.

After the first week of feeling dizzy and lightheaded I stuck with it until a month later when I went back to the doctor because I was having terrible mood swings and anxiety, and the dizzy feeling hadn't really gone. His immediate reaction was to put me back on the full dose which I wasn't prepared to do. I don't want to be taking blood pressure medication for the rest of my life because of a tablet I don't want to take anymore. I told the doctor of my research in withdrawing from Effexor and asked him to put me on a low dose of Prozac to ease symptoms. After consulting with another doctor he did this and the effect was almost immediate. I soon began to feel 'normal' and capable again. Yey!

Right, so now I am on the next phase of the reduction. Still taking the Prozac I have now stopped the Effexor completly. How terrified was I on Saturday when I did this!

Now I am on day three of 'no Effexor' and I have a bad cold too so I am not feeling great. As far as I can tell the withdrawal is causing the dizzy head again (very bad) and an upset tummy. These things I can cope with. I have taken time off work naming the cause of my illness the flu to buy me some time until the dizzy head improves. From last time's experience I think I should feel better in a couple more days. And then, of course, I will have to wait and see how my emotions are going to be. So far so good, but last time the mood swings began in the second week. I will be going back to the doctor next week (on Wednesday) and hope that he will increase the dose of Prozac if I need it. I may not, but I don't know. This is going to be a real rollercoaster ride!

How proud of myself am I at the moment?! Really proud! I thought I would never have the courage to do this but hubby's being fantastic and I couldn't do it without him.

I am fearful that I will regress back into a depressive mood that won't shift but I know that it won't happen, at least not for any length of time. Effexor is horrific to come off. I have read so many horror stories about it and about people that are resigned to staying on it for the rest of their lives. I am not going to be one of those people. By the end of this week I will begin to feel better and will get myself back to functioning normality and just wait and see how my moods go. If I feel low then I will deal with it then.