The remainder of yesterday was uneventful. The journey to the boat was calm, in fact I didn't feel anything at all. My head felt ... blank, woolly, spacey. Maybe the Prozac is kicking in. I felt drugged! Did some stuff helping with the boat but by lunchtime started to feel rough, shivery and weak so I napped. Bliss! How wonderful just to lay and relax. I managed to relax by doing breathing exercises. After about an hour I got up feeling a bit better and actually managed to walk the dogs with hubby. Yey! No anxiety while walking which is great. Can't believe how knackered I felt all day but definitely better than yesterday! The dogs were amazing - in the evening they just layed with me. Dog no. 1 even got on the sofa and cuddled up which he never does! Maybe they were comforting me.
So this morning I woke up feeling okay, a bit (okay alot) disassociated from life in general but made a plan and followed it. Apparently I had been giggling in my sleep so I don't know what that was about! Got up slowly, showered, etc., and set about cleaning the bathroom and cabin. Pretty quickly I got fatigued and had to sit down and rest. Hubby tried to do a deal with me i.e. if we stay over another night and take the boat out he will take me shopping for boots. Usually this would've worked a treat (me being shallow!) but I couldn't face it. Baby steps and all that. I explain how upsetting I found it saying no to him all the time and he was okay. Just as well.
Finally he was ready to leave (me having been ready for ages and pretty much pacing the boat) and immediately at that point I started to feel better. The drive home was easy and I relaxed and started feeling pretty normal and that feeling lasted for the rest of the day. Wonderful!
Maybe I have reached the lowest point and am starting to recover? I hope so and it does feel like that. So let's see what happens next!
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