Some good, some not so

Butterfly tummy first thing. Upset tummy too (this usually last most of the morning). Okay the aim today was visit the chiropractor and go to the gym. So, got up and did some housework (actually felt like it). So far so good. Mid morning a surge of anxiety caught me for a while. This passed and I went to the chiropractor. I drove with hubby in the passenger seat. No problem at all although head felt a little muzzy during the drive. Home again, got ready and set off for the gym. A bit nervous but keen to do it. The gym started off great and I really started to enjoy myself - even ran for a bit! I think the run was a step too far. I started shaking and my head felt muzzy. However I continued and finished the session and walked on wobbly legs back to the car. I really should have sat and calmed down before driving off because I started to feel anxious almost immediately. It's not a long drive but there was a lot of traffic which made the anxiety worse. So how did I cope with it? I controlled my breathing and at the first opportunity I pulled off the main road onto a quieter road which helped calm me. Anxiety is so predicable, as soon as I turned into my road I got calmer!

Back home I felt a little disappointed but overall really pleased with my efforts, even though I was still shaking. Decided to have a lay down which wasn't a great idea because all I did was lay there worrying and winding myself up. So now I am up and trying to get a few things done. There is a layer of depression over my head at the moment which was caused by the driving experience. This will pass soon. How do I know when I will be alright and when I am pushing myself too far? I wish someone could tell me when I will begin to feel stronger. Hang on, I do feel stronger, much stronger than I did 2 weeks ago. I need to remember that this is going to be a long process. Hubby is so proud of me for doing well today and this depression is a minor setback that will pass as the evening comes.

My brain is so fragile at the moment. One minute I am positive and feel ready for anything and the next I am shaking and depressed. Right, I'm going to give myself a pat on the back for not giving in today and achieving what I set out to do! I succeeded, I did well, not perfect but okay, and tomorrow I will do even better!