Up and down

Terrible night with very vivid dreams and sweats. Kept waking up worrying about nothing and everything. Stomach seems very upset so am losing weight (a plus I guess!) but this may be adding to my fatigue and lightheadedness. Have just drunk a salty drink to try to rehydrate.

Feeling a bit sorry for myself and more than a bit frustrated today. Last night I suddenly started to worry that I cannot function without Effexor and am scared that I will get worse and not better. I know hubby's worried about me because he doesn't want to go to paint the boat without me but I don't know if I can face the journey and/or being on the boat. It won't help the dizzyness I know and also there's the boredom factor. I wish he would just stay here and take care of me for a few more days because I need him to help me stop the worrying. He's going to phone my boss today and explain what is going on which is the sensible thing to do but I think all along I was just hoping to get through it without them knowing. How naive! I know I'll have their support but I don't like the thought of them thinking I'm weak.

I must stop looking at the Effexor forums and scaring myself. I need to remember that alot of these people are far worse than me which is why they find it so difficult. I don't have the same mental disorders that they do and I have more support than they probably have.

I am definitely a little more anxious today and I think that is because I'm afraid that this is going to take longer than I first anticipated. Roll on next Wednesday when I can see the doctor. Hopefully he will increase the dose of Prozac which should ease all these nasty symptoms.

In spite of all the worries and feeling like crap I am optimistic that things are going to get better. I know that physically I am improving and I need to keep in mind that this has only been going on since Saturday which is six days. Next week should see some great improvements. I am certain of that!