Moving forward

Thursday evening I went with hubby to boat, enduring a 1 hr 20 min drive which I found gave me anxiety but getting on the boat was great and I was glad to have gone. Friday morning woke up feeling bright and cheerful and busied myself around the boat until lunchtime when I had a dip and started feeling ill. The movement of the boat really affected my dizzy head which I coped with most of the time but it got to me after a while. Managed to have a nap (yippee I haven't managed to have one for a week!) and felt better after. We drove back early evening and I felt ill but okay if you see what I mean. Getting home I felt immediately better being on solid ground, transport seems to upset my balance at the moment. Spoke to Debbie at work and had a lovely chat. I still haven't told anyone at work what is really going on and am hoping to keep it that way, I don't want them thinking I am weak and I don't want them feeling sorry for me.

So things are looking up. Had a good night's sleep, still woke up during the night but had no sweats (2nd night running!) and no horrible dreams. Today I woke up feeling bright and cheerful and really positive. Have only taken one Prozac today rather than two to see how I feel with it. I don't want to take more than I really need and maybe that extra boost the other day was all I needed, we will see!

I plan to go to my favourite shop today and treat myself, I think I deserve it! Feeling so positive is a lovely feeling and I think (think being the operative word) that I am over the worst. If today stays good then I know I'm on the home stretch.

Have decided to cancel my meal out with the girls on Tuesday because I don't want to push myself and overdo it. I have realised that I cannot fight this and be silly and deny how bad I have been and need to take baby steps for a little while. If need be work will have to take a back seat for another week, I will take each day as it comes and see how I go.