Pushing the boundaries

Yesterday was a good day. The morning was frosty and sunny so we decided to go to the boat for the day. It was lovely. We took the boat out and, apart from me stressing about mooring, it was good fun. We really enjoyed each other's company and took the dogs for a long walk along the riverside which was really enjoyable. The drive home was a little less successful. The car broke down on the motorway. We called the AA and had to wait. The traffic was hurtling past, very close to us and so we had to get out of the car and wait in the bushes with the dogs. We walked along a bit to get further away from the traffic and had to wait. It was cold and dark and noisy and very frightening. I was terrified I would lose grip of the dog's lead and he would get run over. I was terrified that I would have a panic attack and lose control and just, well, run. So I did my deep breathing exercises and hung on to the fence. In fact, I wrapped one arm around the fence in case I passed out! We had to stay there for an hour and to be honest I don't know how I kept control of myself. But I did. Eventually the AA arrived and moved us to a safe area to look at the car. Sitting in the car I began shaking and really had to get a grip and try to calm down. Bless him, hubby got me a cup of tea which helped to divert my attention. They couldn't mend the car so we had to wait for a tow truck which came and took us home.

Once in the two truck I calmed down completely but immediately started to worry how the event would effect me. By the end of the evening, however, I realised that everything was okay and we had always been safe and it was me overreacting as usual.

So on to today. Felt pretty good all day. Went to see my counsellor who had left me a message that he couldn't see me today. I wasn't that bothered to be honest and just drove home again. No stress. Mother-in-law visited later on and for once she didn't wind me up which is progress! All in all a very normal day which is great. I am rather chuffed that I enjoyed yesterday and didn't flip out when we broke down. I feel that having to deal with the car has moved me forward a bit. If I can cope with a situation like that then day-to-day stuff seems much less daunting.