We planned to visit R............. and walk along the seafront with him and the dogs. Hubby has some work to do and thought he'd be back in time but instead I needed to drive there with the dogs alone. Did it no problem! Met up with hubby, parked car and headed off. I was absolutely fine until I saw Roger and then the anxiety kicked in and I started trembling. I managed to conceal how I was feeling but walking back to the hospital was very difficult with my legs like jelly and my head rushing. Still, nothing terrible happened and the feeling passed. I drove home alone with some anxiety but nothing out of control.
Back at home the trembling began again so I busied myself with wrapping Christmas presents which didn't really help so I listened to my relaxation tape which really helped. Hubby came home and wanted us to visit P.............. as he is home for the weekend. I could've done with resting but instead we went and I admit it was lovely to see him.
We had a dinner/dance to go to in the evening and I began to fret over it. Of course, the anxiety grew and I sat down and talked through it with hubby, in between sobs. That helped calm me down. I knew I had to go to prove to myself that I can still socialise and be 'normal' but the old fears were strong.
Boy, was I nervous! I barely knew anyone but luckily the venue was familiar. Once seated I started to relax a little and just tried to enjoy myself and I ended up having a lovely time! Got to bed at 2am feeling very proud of myself.
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