Achievement

Yesterday was good. Hubby wanted to go and buy a new camera and I went along for the ride, stupidly thinking we would be parking near the shop. We had to park a good distance and my first reaction was to stay in the car. Hubby wasn't having that and so I gave it a go. Halfway there I was anxious I tried to turn back but hubby wasn't having that either so I resigned myself to feeling awful and just doing it. Boy, my legs were shaking and I felt sick. We got in the shop and hubby was saying 'so where is this panic attack? Come on, I want to see it!' Of course, it never happened and I walked back okay - walking faster that usual and with shaky legs but I did it! I didn't know whether to hit hubby or hug him. Definitely a step forward. Tried to nap after doing my relaxation tape but couldn't so gave up. It didn't give me any anxiety though which is great. Today was very good. Went to visit R........... and P............ They are both in the same ward which is good. Saw P............ first. He's going home for the weekend which is fantastic. Again we had to park a distance from the hospital which gave me some anxiety but I was determined to see them so, with shaky legs I managed it. Then we visited R.............. It was a shock to see him looking so weak but I could see how pleased he was to see me which made it totally worthwhile. I managed to control the anxiety and emotion I was feeling and am so proud to have done it. Afterwards we parked and walked to shops to get hubby some trainers and I coped with that amazingly well. I guess I was desensitized by then! Got home feeling exhausted but very pleased with myself.